Friends

The wheel bearings went out on one of my wheels yesterday.  I can still technically drive it, but it makes a horrible, fingernails on chalkboard kind of noise as the bearings are grated and ground down as the wheel turns.  I had thought that it was the right front hub that I was going to have to replace, but the amount of noise coming from the left rear yesterday was overwhelming so I do believe that is the one that I will need to replace, which sucks because the jack that I own makes it extremely difficult for me to jack up the rear of my truck barely enough to get the wheel off.  I may ask a friend if she has one of those diamond-shaped crank jacks that I can borrow.  Those lift things off the ground quite well enough to get the wheel off comfortably.  Thankfully, a lady that I work with lives only like 5 minutes away from me and she was nice enough to agree to pick me up and take me home for today and tomorrow, so I don’t have to call in “sick” to work. 

I had bought a watch with 6 beads from the Brighton store over the weekend.  The day after I bought it, after much thought, I had decided that $160 was just too much to spend on a watch.  Also, I didn’t really like the way it looked on my wrist AND I had seen a watch at Dillard’s that I liked much better and was only about a third of the price.  So, 2 days after I bought the Brighton watch, I returned it and then bought the other watch at Dillard’s.  After about 24 hours from the time I returned the Brighton watch, I checked my bank account and the credit hadn’t arrived.  So, I called the store and asked them about it and they advised me that it takes 2-3 days for the bank to credit my account.  Really?  Because everywhere else when I return something credits my account within hours of the return.  So, whatever.  I wasn’t able to replace it on my day off and I had to secure a ride to work for 2 days as a result.  Sure, it’s annoying, but it’s not the end of the world.  I’ve already asked Denise if we can stop at the parts store on our way to dropping me off after work tomorrow to pick it up.  What I will probably do is call the parts store and pay for it over the phone so that it will for sure be there when we arrive.  I really don’t want to inconvenience her anymore than is necessary.  She is doing me a huge favor just picking me up and taking me home for 2 days.

So, I’ll get the hub replaced Friday morning.  I had to reschedule an appointment that I had on Tuesday because I didn’t think of riding the bus in time to be able to make it to the appointment.  Instead, I had bus adventures to buy dog food from Bark ‘N Purr pet store.  That’s the only place that sells the dog food that I inadvertently got my dog hooked on after I adopted her.  She likes the food and it is good for her.  It’s holistic.  I don’t feel like stressing her out and switching just because I can only get the food at one place locally.  Once I’ve moved to Oregon, I’ll reevaluate the situation.  If I have to go too far out of the way to get her food (if I can even still get her food in Oregon) then I will decide one of two things: (1) I will buy a bulk amount of her food or (2) I will switch the food she eats. 

Anyway, bus adventures.  Riding the bus yesterday kind of sucked because I didn’t have my earbuds to listen to music with and I didn’t have a book to read while I rode.  So the ride seemed longer than it actually was because I didn’t have anything to distract me from the other people on the bus.  And on the ride back to the park & ride station, a guy sat down next to me and then didn’t move when more seats opened up.  Most people move from sitting next to someone they don’t know after more seats open up.  But not him.

The appointment I had to reschedule was at an acupuncturist.  It was for the initial exam to determine what areas I would need “treatment” in.  That will be followed by 4 sessions of actually getting poked with needles.  I’m really hoping that acupuncture works for me.  Even though my co-pay is the higher co-pay of $40 per visit for them, I’d still like to go with natural medicine if I can.  But, I rescheduled that appointment for Friday afternoon, so hopefully I will get that hub changed out and everything will be fine and dandy after that and I can drive my truck to the appointment.  I also have a friend date that evening to go and see Tron at the IMAX theater.  I’m really excited about that.  And I’m sure Doug would come pick me up if necessary, but I’d rather not put him in that position if I don’t have to.

Since I have left over “pointsplus” points at the end of each day and I don’t really delve into the weekly points that are specifically for treats and dessert type foods, I decided it would be okay to purchase some Girl Scout cookies.  So, I bought me some peanut butter sandwich cookies.  I’ll look up how many points a serving size has and then I’ll allow myself that many cookies a day. 

I haven’t bought Girl Scout cookies in years, mostly because they ambush you when you’re going in and out of stores and I find that rude and annoying.  Same reason I don’t like the seasonal bell ringers (aside from their bells giving me very real migraines so I have a palpable reason to dislike them).  Not that I’d be more inclined to buy cookies from them if they came and knocked on my door because I don’t like to be disturbed at home unless it’s a preplanned visit from a friend or serviceman.  But, usually, if a co-worker has a daughter in the Girl Scouts and is selling cookies for them, then maybe I’ll buy a box or two of them.  I think that’s a more tasteful, less-pressured way of doing it.

I’m a very particular person when it comes to my privacy.  Once I’ve moved to Oregon, I plan on having a more active social life, so I’m going to have to learn to be more open to interruption because, hopefully, I’ll actually have people coming over every now and then and maybe I’ll even step outside of my comfort zone and befriend my neighbors.  And that would be a huge step for me.  And, really, that’s what I want.  I want to be a part of something, I want to be in a neighborhood where neighbors help neighbors and are friends with each other and hang out and do get-togethers. 

I think I’m doing well on the Weight Watchers system.  I seem to have lost about 2 pounds already, which is nice.  It was definitely more than I really expected to be able to lose within a week when I wasn’t able to do any form of exercise during that time.  I actually added food to what I was eating each day.  I added a can of tuna and some multigrain crackers and I still have points left over when it’s all said and done for the day.  But I think that adding some solid protein to my daily intake may have been just what I needed to spur a little weight loss.  I know that protein is essential to a healthy diet, and now I know just how much so.  Plus, I have less moments of having starving stomach syndrome where it’s growling and making all sorts of noises at me.

When I was in the store the other day, there was a kid one aisle over from me that had some sort of a squeaky toy and was just steadily squeaking it.  I started to get annoyed over it, but then I stopped myself because I thought of myself.  What I mean is that I thought of me and what I would do if someone handed me a squeaking toy.  I would squeak the damned thing like there was no tomorrow and would annoy the piss out of everyone around me.  So, instead of getting all annoyed and fussy over it, I found the humor in the situation.

That’s what I need to do more…find the humor in situations and not just immediate jump to being all pissy and fussy and cranky about things.  Things are funny, plain and simple.  I just need to get over myself already.  I’m not somebody important so why should I go around acting like I am all the time?

Makes me think of my hot pink rubber ducky that I have…and bubble baths.  I wish I were a bubble bath kind of person, but I’m not.  I tried to take one the other night.  Ran the water and put the bubble bath in.  Poured myself some champagne and had a book.  Yea, I started getting all antsy after only getting a couple pages into my book.  I apparently just can’t sit in a tub and soak and relax and enjoy it.  I think the only time I was able to was after I was assaulted by another woman years ago, when I was only 21.  I was terrified after that happened.  I remember I went to leave the house and walk across the street to the store to get some wine coolers and the second my key turned and locked the door from the outside, I freaked out.  I started shaking and crying.  I went back inside and calmed myself and then tried again.  I guess I was afraid that the woman had somehow found out where I lived and was lying in wait for me.  She wasn’t, but she had given me such a beating that I was afraid she had followed me home.

My anxiety can be a little overbearing sometimes.  I get anxious about something and I start thinking abut it obsessively and excessively.  My thoughts just won’t stop and they race.  It’s just like a bipolar when they go manic and have racing thoughts, but it’s totally situational and not a long term thing.  But my thoughts race, my blood pressure and my body temperature go up, and my heart pounds in my chest and even my breathing feels constricted.  If it lasts long enough it will feel as thought I’ve been punched hard in the stomach.  I’ll get all nauseated.  If it’s at night, I’ll get severe insomnia where I cannot go to sleep because I can’t stop my thoughts and get myself to relax enough to drift off to sleep. 

Today, there is inclement weather.  With the wind chill, it is below 20 degrees outside.  There’s a chance of sleet and ice.  On Friday, there’s a chance of snow.  Snow!  In central Texas!  It’s practically unheard of here.  The city energy department has announced that they will be running the power in 30 minute swatches…30 on, 30 off, and vice versa.  It’s what they refer to as a “rolling blackout.”  We’re hoping that our relieving shift is going to be able to make it in to work and that we will be able to go home on time tonight.  However, it’s not supposed to sleet until tomorrow night and/or Friday morning, so we should be alright.  We should have clear roads until then.

I haven’t been in weather like this for over 2 years, since I was last home to visit in Oregon.  Temperatures got down to 12 or 13 degrees.  I was a smoker at the time and so I was outside in that, smoking.  I don’t mind the cold so much; it’s the wind that gets me more.  The wind is what has the bite.  Cold air is just crisp and I actually kinda like it…kinda miss it.  I know I miss living somewhere that gets all 4 seasons of the year and experiencing the turns of the seasons.  I miss doing camping/hiking trips and white water rafting with my family.

Maybe I’ve said it before, but maybe I haven’t.  And if I have, be damned, it deserves to be said again!  I have some of the best friends that a girl could ask for or hope for.  I am truly blessed when it comes to having friends.  I’m talking to one of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life, Eileen, via email while we’re both at work right now, passing the time.  She asked me if I was okay and that I’d seemed a little frustrated lately.  I told her I was a little on edge because while I desperately want this surgery, I don’t know how I’m going to get to the hospital to get it done.  She basically called me silly for worrying and told me that she’d have no problems taking me and that she could just sit in the lobby or my room and do homework on her laptop since that’s what she does on her days off anyway.  If she had been in the same room as me, I’d have hugged her.  Seriously!  Do you have friends that awesome?  Friends that will be there for you no matter what, no matter that I’m moving to Oregon in a little over a year and am basically abandoning her.  I’m not, though.  She and I will stay in touch and I do have actual plans to come back and visit her and my other couple friends here in Texas.  She is truly a great friend.  And if I could take anything with me to Oregon from Texas, I would for sure take Eileen.  She has been so wonderful to me.  I only hope that she perceives me as being a wonderful friend to her in return.

Just found out that my uncle on my mom’s side is a trophy hunter.  Now, I may not be politically inclined or aligned, but I definitely have an opinion on trophy hunting.  It’s like abortion; you are either for it or against it.  And I am decidedly against trophy hunting.  There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to kill an animal needlessly.  Just because you want to beat your hairy man chest with other men and compare your ability to aim a gun.  I believe only in killing an animal like a deer if you plan on eating the meat from it.  And, by the way, I am pro-choice on abortion, but that’s a whole ‘nother conversation for another day.