"I Don't Believe In Myself"

This week’s excuse on Biggest Loser was “I don’t believe in myself.”  This one definitely resonates with me.  I have a lot of problems finding faith in myself and believing I’m actually capable of success.  I have a lot of difficulty believing that I am worthy of that success…of achieving my goals and what I’ve set out to do. 

I want nothing more than to succeed, but if I’m going to actually succeed, I really do need to believe in myself.  It’s just not going to be possible if I don’t think I can do it.  I have to be my own biggest fan.  I don’t have much of a support system in person, so I have to support myself.  The one person that could support me in person feels frustrated when I talk about my exercise and about all my progress that I’m making because she wants to lose weight too but can’t seem to get anything to work for her.  I don’t live with her, so I can’t testify as to whether or not she’s committing herself to her efforts 100%.  I can only take her at her word that she is.  I think she may fall into the small percentage of people who start a program and don’t see any results for the first 2-3 weeks and by then, she’s given up, calling it hopeless.  I feel for her, I really do.

I have been 90% successful thus far.  With the exception of this past week, I’ve shown nothing but losses on the scale, even if it was only .6 of a pound.  But I’ve lost upwards of 5 pounds in just one week.  I’m hoping to renew my efforts this week after the non-productive week I had last week and see a loss on the scale again.  I’m highly tempted to call last week a bad week, but it wasn’t bad.  I exercised more than ever, which is great.  Sure I binged, but it really wasn’t as bad as I want to make it out to be.  It was about 1000 calories over my calorie limit for the particular day.  Sure that was almost twice what I eat in one day, but it was still only about 1000 calories.  I was still within the calories that I would eat to maintain my weight.  So I’m really thinking it was a biological reason for my backslide.  In which case, there is nothing I could have really done to achieve different results on my weigh in on Sunday.

I have to believe in myself.  I really do.  And I have to do more than try, I have to actually DO it.  If I don’t support myself, why should anyone else?  If I don’t believe in myself, then there’s no point in trying because I will only undermine myself time after time.