Spread My Wings

So, I’ve gone out on 2 dates with Patrick now.  He’s a really nice guy, we seem to have a decent amount of stuff in common, or at least enough to keep a conversation between us going for a couple hours.  And that’s a good thing.  I’m a little hesitant about anything potentially long term with him because he does have a child.  I’m not so sure about dating a guy that has a kid.  I mean, it’s great that he doesn’t want any more kids, but I would for sure take second seat with his focus in life.  Not that that would be a bad thing, per se.  It could potentially be a good thing because he does have her about 50% of the time, so that would force us to move at a slower pace…a pace I would be so much more comfortable moving at with any guy.

I’m not so sure how I feel about dating, in general.  I’ve just recently started going to therapy to help me get a handle on my binge eating and start dealing with my issues left over from JP.  I’m really not so sure that I am actually ready to be dating.  But I don’t want to just shut it down and not even test the water before leaving the beach, so I’ll keep talking to him and see what happens.  If we get along, then great, we’ll spend more time together.  But if he doesn’t see it going anywhere, then I would be okay with that as well.  I’m in a sort of emotional limbo for the time being.

If someone were to flat out ask me if I thought I was ready to start dating again, I would tell them a confident “no.”  But, yet, I’ve gone on a couple dates with this really nice guy.  A little bit of a conflict?  Yes, I would agree.  But I’m trying to get out of the house more and minge with other people and not be such a shut in.  I’ve been pretty much a shut in since the end of the relationship with JP.  I definitely need to do what I can to move away from that state of being.  I need to, as the cliché goes, spread my wings.