Feeling Guilty

I recently read an article about exercise addiction and how runners can easily fall into this addiction.  The article states that, even though it is widely accepted that you can become addicted to exercise, it is not acknowledged by the medical community as an actual dependency like drugs or alcohol, etc.  But, you can recognize that you are addicted to something…anything…but how you behave when you don’t “get your fix.”  If you don’t run, do you panic or feel guilty?  Do you feel shame about how much you run?  Do you choose running over friends and family all the time?  Do you make your weekend/vacation plans around your plans to run?  These are just a few examples.  If you’re at all familiar with addiction behavior, then you know what I’m talking about. 

I only bring this up because I have had some of these behaviors…albeit mild versions, but I had them.  Case in point, I’m running 5 times a week now that I’m training for the Dallas Marathon.  This means 2 days a week I do not run.  I’ve noticed that I feel guilty on my rest days.  I feel like I should have ran even though I KNOW that I need to let my legs rest with the amount of miles I’m running right now.  My legs NEED that rest so that they can perform better. 

Speaking of my legs needing rest.  Yesterday morning’s run was brutal.  I had 9 miles on tap.  I started off great.  I was clipping along at an average of about 12:30 for the first few miles.  Around mile 4.5, my legs started to get tired.  By mile 6, they were straight up heavy.  I struggled through the last 3 miles of my run.  I’m not going to lie either, I had to stop and rest a couple times.  But no walking.  I did decide that when I start doing 10+ for my long runs (next week…hello!), that I will allow myself walk breaks if I feel I need them.  But I want to keep them to a minimum.  And no more often than every 2 miles, which is about average for how often there are water stops along typical race routes.  

And then, today, I find myself feeling guilty that I didn't run.  I had penciled in an optional 3 mile run, which earlier this week I had opted to pencil out.  However, a nice little 2-3 mile shake out run would have been great this morning.  I was going to do some Bob Harper Yoga for the Warrior, but decided I'd rather wait until tomorrow evening to do it.  If I'm going to hit my goal of getting at least one non-running workout a week, it has to get done tomorrow!

I picked up my packet for tomorrow's Frozen Hot Chocolate 10K.  So excited!!!  On my drive home from picking up my packet, I realized I hadn't picked out my outfit for the race yet!  OMG!  Party foul!!!  Anyway, as soon as I got home, I hit the closet to start picking things out.  I started with the shirt and found something that sort of went with the bib, which has purple, orange and yellow on it.  I picked out a hot orangish-pinkish tank, then grabbed a pair of purple patterned capris, which will all be paired with my new blue Mizunos.  So, "fun with color" is my theme for this race.  Haha!

I can't wait to get the official photos from this race!  Hopefully they post them pretty quickly sometime next week.